TGIF!

It's been quite a wild week around here. There's not any one challenge that stands out but it was more of a "perfect storm" of (seemingly) random frustrating events sprinkled amidst lots and lots of rain that made this week a particularly challenging one. As I attempted to write at least one positive thought in my journal this morning, the only thing that felt genuine was TGIF - Thank goodness it's Friday!

I'm (still) struggling to find time/space to do my work but I'm really too tired to get into the details of it, and I have to think that it's getting pretty boring to anyone who might be reading to hear me continually drone on about my challenges as an aspiring writer/workshop leader/yoga teacher trying to find her way as a stay-at-home-mom.

So instead, I think I'll note a few of the highlights of my day (and maybe that will help to give me a more positive perspective on the rest of the week).

John came home early today so I got to go for a run by myself (no double stroller to push so I could actually swing both of my arms at the same time, no stopping to pick up dropped sippy cups or to mitigate disputes) -- it was heavenly!

On the way home, as I was walking too cool down (not because I was exhausted and out of breath ;-), I noticed something wonderful growing along our street -- milkweed!! (The picture is not mine because I was running and didn't have my camera. It's one I found on the web, which looks just like what I saw!)

I've been very much wanting to attract more butterflies to our yard, and to hopefully find some Monarch eggs that we could hatch out in our critter corner, but planting a butterfly garden is one of the many fun projects that I just never can seem to get to.

I learned from Lily's amazing preschool teacher that Monarch eggs can often be found on milkweed plants in August so now I'm totally excited to check these newly-discovered plants for eggs later in the summer!

Another wonderful thing that happened later today is that on our way home from dinner at my parents' house we saw fireflies!!

It was close to nine o'clock (I had stayed there as late as possible trying to ensure "sleepage" on the way home) but the sky, just a week after Solstice, was still so bright. My kids kept asking if we could watch Max and Ruby when we got home (which comes on at six) and if it was getting close to evening or still afternoon. They were jabbering on (and on...and on) and I was starting to feel myself sliding into scary-mama-mode.

I quickly reached into my imaginary tool box and grabbed on of my favorite yoga chants, a Bija (seed) Mantra.

Lam - Vam - Ram - Yam - Haum - Aum

It is a chant that I often led in both my prenatal and mommy and baby yoga classes that brought much comfort to everyone in the room and that almost-instantly brings me into a more calm place.

As I was humming and settling my own energy, the kids began to breathe more deeply and speak more slowly and softly.

For a while the car was quiet except for my humming and then Lily spotted a sparkle.

"Mama! I think I just saw a firefly in the woods!

"Slow down Mama. This is the perfect time to see animals that come out of the woods to eat in the evening. Wouldn't it be great if we saw a deer and fireflies in the same night, Mama!"

For the rest of the ride home, as I alternated between my chant and silently enjoying the drive, they giggled and rejoiced at the show of lights along the roadside.

At some point Lily nodded off. Quinn was quiet but still awake when we got home. As John carried a sleeping Lily into the house, Quinn and I stood on the deck and watched the fireflies dancing in the garden.

As I stood there snuggling my beautiful sleepy boy I took a deep breath. TGFF - Thank goodness for fireflies!

Hello Beluga...

More excitement in the critter corner!

It's Thursday, which for the summer months is our one daycare morning. Generally speaking, that means I'm usually doing some form of "work" today -- writing, answering e-mails, planning birth network events, making phone calls etc.

But today is also Lily's fourth birthday so I'm doing a quick power cleaning (things have gotten seriously out of control recently) of the house before setting up some streamers and balloons (which I totally forgot that I still have to get).

As I was sorting through the coats that have overtaken the kids' hooks, I noticed that the critter tank is looking a little dry.

And then I also noticed something else -- eggs of some sort under the soil, right up against the glass!

I'm not sure what kind of eggs they are - snail? toad? (Do toads even lay eggs? Oh, I have SO much to learn!) Or maybe something else that we didn't even know was in our tank?

I think it's so interesting that most of my amazing critter corner moments happen when I am alone. It really is becoming more and more clear to me that much of the "fun stuff" I do now that I am a parent, I could have been doing all along!

My kids are only mildly interested in what is happening in the tank (not that I blame them -- snails are pretty slow moving and the toad has not been seen since the night it surprised me).

And yet it is my children who inspire me, and gently remind me, to slow down and dig in the Earth and study snails and talk to Fairies.

And it is my children who inspire me to savor the special joy of birthdays with favorite dinners and streamers and balloons and cake and funny stories from the last year.

And so, at least for today, cleaning up the house and getting ready for tonight's (quiet family) celebration is my "work", which I will do with great joy!

And I'll be sure to stop and peek in the critter tank every chance I get!

(My "point & shoot" camera was rather confused by my attempts to photograph the eggs through a dirty glass tank but I think I managed to get a half-way decent shot. Click on the photo to enlarge.)

Happy (almost) Father's Day, Papa!

I spent some time out in the garden tonight while John was putting the kids to bed. He's put them to bed almost every night this week and I am SO grateful for this gift he is giving both me and them.

The gift to me is time alone to write, garden, read, dream, shower -- whatever I am most needing.

The gift to our children is that this increase in creative time/space is helping me to feel less scattered and less distracted and less restless and a little more excited and present and patient and go with the flow-ish during the (sometimes really long) days when I am home with them.

That's not to say I don't still have moments where I just want to scream or run away (or both) but that feels normal and healthy as the mother of two young children.

What it thankfully, does NOT feel like is hours that turned into days that turned into weeks of feeling really sad and frustrated and stuck and not knowing how to un-stick myself, that I felt all too often as a new mother.

I am so grateful for all the ways that I have grown as a person and mother in the last several years and that my husband has encouraged me and supported me and made space for this growth.

And I'm incredibly grateful that he and our children have developed special evening and weekend routines -- like basketball on the front porch and trains in their room and Papa's pancakes and visiting the children's museum -- that are all their own!

A new friend in the Critter Corner!

After the brief excitement of watching the snail eat (lick) breakfast, things were pretty quiet in the Critter Corner yesterday.

It was hot. Really hot. And the snail didn't seem to be any more interested in moving than any of us were.

Then late last night, long after I should have collapsed in bed, I opened the tank to share some fresh chard and spinach with the snail and was totally surprised to find a little TOAD in the tank!

I later learned that it was put in there by John over the weekend. He said he kind of forgot about it and then he wasn't sure if it was still there since he hadn't seen it in a couple of days!

It was really fun to have it be a mystery for a while though. I am usually the one behind the scenes creating the magic for the kids (bringing interesting bits of nature into the house, leaving small gifts from the fairies for them to find in the morning etc.). It was so nice to be on the receiving end of some of nature's magic, even for a short time!

I've yet to get a picture of the new visitor, because I've yet to see it again. I did, however, consult our Pets in a Jar book and learned a bunch of cool stuff about toads.

~ Toads are really good to have in your garden because they eat lots of insects that would otherwise eat our plants.
~ They are active in the evening.
~ Despite popular folklore, you cannot get warts from touching a toad.
~ They like to hide out in the garden and broken flower pots turned upside down make great toad houses.
~ Toads like to eat live insects, earthworms and slugs but can also be trained to eat dog food off a moving string.

Sounds kind of cool but I really don't have the energy to care for anyone or anything else right now so once we have some new toad houses set out, and if I can find it again, I'll move our friend out to the garden!

Bring on the summer smoothies!

I made smoothies for the kids at lunchtime today and they drank them and loved them, and thanked me for making them!

I've been hoping to introduce smoothies to our breakfast repertoire for a while now but just somehow haven't gotten to it until today.

I've read that it's a great way to get healthy stuff into growing bodies and kids think they are a great treat. (There are various smoothies at the grocery store but generally I've found them to be low in nutrients and high in sugar.)

We did love the Stonyfield Farm organic strawberry yogurt smoothies for a while. When Quinn started part-time daycare last fall we sent him with "milky", which was half strawberry smoothie and half fresh, raw milk. (Then somewhere along the line, he got a taste for orange juice, so now we send him with "juicy", which is half orange juice and half water.)

Today's smoothie was...

Organic Stonyfield Farm Vanilla Yogurt
One frozen banana
A little bit of coconut oil (which was liquid because it was so hot out today)

Tomorrow I'm going to try...

Vanilla yogurt
Fresh strawberries that we picked today!
Coconut oil

...for the kids. And the same, with some fresh chard leaves, for me.

I plan to slowly add veggies and other goodies in to the kids' smoothies, but I'm going to start by slowly experimenting with my own!

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