TGIF!

It's been quite a wild week around here. There's not any one challenge that stands out but it was more of a "perfect storm" of (seemingly) random frustrating events sprinkled amidst lots and lots of rain that made this week a particularly challenging one. As I attempted to write at least one positive thought in my journal this morning, the only thing that felt genuine was TGIF - Thank goodness it's Friday!

I'm (still) struggling to find time/space to do my work but I'm really too tired to get into the details of it, and I have to think that it's getting pretty boring to anyone who might be reading to hear me continually drone on about my challenges as an aspiring writer/workshop leader/yoga teacher trying to find her way as a stay-at-home-mom.

So instead, I think I'll note a few of the highlights of my day (and maybe that will help to give me a more positive perspective on the rest of the week).

John came home early today so I got to go for a run by myself (no double stroller to push so I could actually swing both of my arms at the same time, no stopping to pick up dropped sippy cups or to mitigate disputes) -- it was heavenly!

On the way home, as I was walking too cool down (not because I was exhausted and out of breath ;-), I noticed something wonderful growing along our street -- milkweed!! (The picture is not mine because I was running and didn't have my camera. It's one I found on the web, which looks just like what I saw!)

I've been very much wanting to attract more butterflies to our yard, and to hopefully find some Monarch eggs that we could hatch out in our critter corner, but planting a butterfly garden is one of the many fun projects that I just never can seem to get to.

I learned from Lily's amazing preschool teacher that Monarch eggs can often be found on milkweed plants in August so now I'm totally excited to check these newly-discovered plants for eggs later in the summer!

Another wonderful thing that happened later today is that on our way home from dinner at my parents' house we saw fireflies!!

It was close to nine o'clock (I had stayed there as late as possible trying to ensure "sleepage" on the way home) but the sky, just a week after Solstice, was still so bright. My kids kept asking if we could watch Max and Ruby when we got home (which comes on at six) and if it was getting close to evening or still afternoon. They were jabbering on (and on...and on) and I was starting to feel myself sliding into scary-mama-mode.

I quickly reached into my imaginary tool box and grabbed on of my favorite yoga chants, a Bija (seed) Mantra.

Lam - Vam - Ram - Yam - Haum - Aum

It is a chant that I often led in both my prenatal and mommy and baby yoga classes that brought much comfort to everyone in the room and that almost-instantly brings me into a more calm place.

As I was humming and settling my own energy, the kids began to breathe more deeply and speak more slowly and softly.

For a while the car was quiet except for my humming and then Lily spotted a sparkle.

"Mama! I think I just saw a firefly in the woods!

"Slow down Mama. This is the perfect time to see animals that come out of the woods to eat in the evening. Wouldn't it be great if we saw a deer and fireflies in the same night, Mama!"

For the rest of the ride home, as I alternated between my chant and silently enjoying the drive, they giggled and rejoiced at the show of lights along the roadside.

At some point Lily nodded off. Quinn was quiet but still awake when we got home. As John carried a sleeping Lily into the house, Quinn and I stood on the deck and watched the fireflies dancing in the garden.

As I stood there snuggling my beautiful sleepy boy I took a deep breath. TGFF - Thank goodness for fireflies!

Hello Beluga...

More excitement in the critter corner!

It's Thursday, which for the summer months is our one daycare morning. Generally speaking, that means I'm usually doing some form of "work" today -- writing, answering e-mails, planning birth network events, making phone calls etc.

But today is also Lily's fourth birthday so I'm doing a quick power cleaning (things have gotten seriously out of control recently) of the house before setting up some streamers and balloons (which I totally forgot that I still have to get).

As I was sorting through the coats that have overtaken the kids' hooks, I noticed that the critter tank is looking a little dry.

And then I also noticed something else -- eggs of some sort under the soil, right up against the glass!

I'm not sure what kind of eggs they are - snail? toad? (Do toads even lay eggs? Oh, I have SO much to learn!) Or maybe something else that we didn't even know was in our tank?

I think it's so interesting that most of my amazing critter corner moments happen when I am alone. It really is becoming more and more clear to me that much of the "fun stuff" I do now that I am a parent, I could have been doing all along!

My kids are only mildly interested in what is happening in the tank (not that I blame them -- snails are pretty slow moving and the toad has not been seen since the night it surprised me).

And yet it is my children who inspire me, and gently remind me, to slow down and dig in the Earth and study snails and talk to Fairies.

And it is my children who inspire me to savor the special joy of birthdays with favorite dinners and streamers and balloons and cake and funny stories from the last year.

And so, at least for today, cleaning up the house and getting ready for tonight's (quiet family) celebration is my "work", which I will do with great joy!

And I'll be sure to stop and peek in the critter tank every chance I get!

(My "point & shoot" camera was rather confused by my attempts to photograph the eggs through a dirty glass tank but I think I managed to get a half-way decent shot. Click on the photo to enlarge.)

Happy (almost) Father's Day, Papa!

I spent some time out in the garden tonight while John was putting the kids to bed. He's put them to bed almost every night this week and I am SO grateful for this gift he is giving both me and them.

The gift to me is time alone to write, garden, read, dream, shower -- whatever I am most needing.

The gift to our children is that this increase in creative time/space is helping me to feel less scattered and less distracted and less restless and a little more excited and present and patient and go with the flow-ish during the (sometimes really long) days when I am home with them.

That's not to say I don't still have moments where I just want to scream or run away (or both) but that feels normal and healthy as the mother of two young children.

What it thankfully, does NOT feel like is hours that turned into days that turned into weeks of feeling really sad and frustrated and stuck and not knowing how to un-stick myself, that I felt all too often as a new mother.

I am so grateful for all the ways that I have grown as a person and mother in the last several years and that my husband has encouraged me and supported me and made space for this growth.

And I'm incredibly grateful that he and our children have developed special evening and weekend routines -- like basketball on the front porch and trains in their room and Papa's pancakes and visiting the children's museum -- that are all their own!

A new friend in the Critter Corner!

After the brief excitement of watching the snail eat (lick) breakfast, things were pretty quiet in the Critter Corner yesterday.

It was hot. Really hot. And the snail didn't seem to be any more interested in moving than any of us were.

Then late last night, long after I should have collapsed in bed, I opened the tank to share some fresh chard and spinach with the snail and was totally surprised to find a little TOAD in the tank!

I later learned that it was put in there by John over the weekend. He said he kind of forgot about it and then he wasn't sure if it was still there since he hadn't seen it in a couple of days!

It was really fun to have it be a mystery for a while though. I am usually the one behind the scenes creating the magic for the kids (bringing interesting bits of nature into the house, leaving small gifts from the fairies for them to find in the morning etc.). It was so nice to be on the receiving end of some of nature's magic, even for a short time!

I've yet to get a picture of the new visitor, because I've yet to see it again. I did, however, consult our Pets in a Jar book and learned a bunch of cool stuff about toads.

~ Toads are really good to have in your garden because they eat lots of insects that would otherwise eat our plants.
~ They are active in the evening.
~ Despite popular folklore, you cannot get warts from touching a toad.
~ They like to hide out in the garden and broken flower pots turned upside down make great toad houses.
~ Toads like to eat live insects, earthworms and slugs but can also be trained to eat dog food off a moving string.

Sounds kind of cool but I really don't have the energy to care for anyone or anything else right now so once we have some new toad houses set out, and if I can find it again, I'll move our friend out to the garden!

Bring on the summer smoothies!

I made smoothies for the kids at lunchtime today and they drank them and loved them, and thanked me for making them!

I've been hoping to introduce smoothies to our breakfast repertoire for a while now but just somehow haven't gotten to it until today.

I've read that it's a great way to get healthy stuff into growing bodies and kids think they are a great treat. (There are various smoothies at the grocery store but generally I've found them to be low in nutrients and high in sugar.)

We did love the Stonyfield Farm organic strawberry yogurt smoothies for a while. When Quinn started part-time daycare last fall we sent him with "milky", which was half strawberry smoothie and half fresh, raw milk. (Then somewhere along the line, he got a taste for orange juice, so now we send him with "juicy", which is half orange juice and half water.)

Today's smoothie was...

Organic Stonyfield Farm Vanilla Yogurt
One frozen banana
A little bit of coconut oil (which was liquid because it was so hot out today)

Tomorrow I'm going to try...

Vanilla yogurt
Fresh strawberries that we picked today!
Coconut oil

...for the kids. And the same, with some fresh chard leaves, for me.

I plan to slowly add veggies and other goodies in to the kids' smoothies, but I'm going to start by slowly experimenting with my own!

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Where are you, snail?

After spending Saturday afternoon creating a nice "cozy" space for our garden snail, we woke Sunday eager to observe our new friend -- only to find that that it was missing!

I was pretty sure that it hadn't left its home since we have a nice wire screen on the top of the tank, but I was very puzzled by the fact that we could not see it anywhere.

Quinn was sure that the "snail napping", which he announced every time he looked in the tank, and Lily was pretty sure that the snail was exploring underground.

I, however remained thoroughly puzzled, and a little disappointed by this turn of events.

So you can imagine my excitement when I woke up early this morning (LOVE it when I manage to wake up before everyone else and can enjoy a little quiet time before the day begins) and found our snail stuck to the side of the tank!

As I was cleaning up from the weekend's adventures, and trying to come up with a plan for today's heat (90+ degrees), I kept walking by the tank to see what our friend was doing. I also put some fresh carrot peels and some sprinkles of water into the tank.

Within a short time (not sure exactly, but less than an hour because that's how long I was up before Quinn woke up) the snail found its way to the carrots and began happily feasting. (Click on photo for a close-up view.)



Lily slept at my parents' last night so I reported the exciting development to her over the phone this morning.

Me: "Great news, Lily! Guess who I found this morning?"
Lil: Who?"
Me: "The snail! I woke up this morning and found it on the side of the tank."
Lil: "That's good, Mama."
Me: "And I gave it some fresh carrot peels, which it really seems to like to eat."
Lil" "I know mom. That's what I told you. They really do like carrots. I'll see you in a little while. Bye Mama."

As I was taking (several) photos of the snail this morning and trying to find a minute to jump on my laptop and write about it, I had to laugh.

I realized that much of what I am trying to create in our home for the benefit of our children (like access to nature via our "critter corner") is as much for me as it is for them -- and maybe, as evidenced by the slight disparity of enthusiasm during Lily and my phone conversation -- a little more for me!

Frogs and snails and puppy-dogs' tails...

...that's what little boys are made of.

In one of our favorite nursery rhyme books, Here Comes Mother Goose, by Iona Opie and Rosemary Wells, this traditional rhyme is turned around so that it's the little boys who are made of "sugar and spice and all things nice" and little girls who are made of "frogs and snails and puppy-dogs' tails."

I still find myself tripping over the words a bit when we come to that rhyme, as the traditional version is so etched in me mind, but I am grateful for this gentle reminder of the power of language.

And I am grateful that my creepy-crawly-critter-loving daughter has ample roll models, both in literature and life, that encourage her to pursue her love of nature and insects and mud, as well as dolls and tea parties.

And I guess I should also consider myself, her primary caregiver for the last four years, among these roll models -- though that feels odd as I have yet to make peace with most things that creep or crawl myself.

My parents were (are) fantastically wonderful parents (and grandparents) but, near as I can tell, neither of them -- a math/computer science teacher and an electrical engineer -- were particularly interested in exploring nature. I don't remember ever having a garden as a child or going camping or (intentionally) having bugs or other critters in our house.

It was actually my experiences, beginning as a young teenager and continuing through college, as a mother's helper, babysitter, camp counselor and eventually (albeit briefly) as an elementary school teacher, that got me really excited about the discoveries one can make by digging in the dirt.

And like most every parent on the planet who looks back at their own childhood and notices something lacking, I set the intention to raise our children to feel comfortable in and connected to the natural world.

And yet I still didn't feel any more comfortable with the thought of handling critters.

Over the course of the last four years, and most significantly this past year, I have been stretching outside of my comfort zone and getting to know the creature world.

In the beginning, I mainly just noticed how uncomfortable creepy-crawly things make me feel and tried to use this new awareness as a growth opportunity.

One of the biggest things for me has been reading books -- lots of them! Every couple of weeks I go online and order books about a particular critter that is of interest to our daughter (often inspired by her favorite TV shows, Zoboomafoo and Mama Mirabelle's Home Movies).

Sometimes I read them with her. Sometimes I read them myself and talk about them with her. Sometimes I just put them on our book shelf to have as a reference if something comes up (like today when we wondered how to create a habitat for a garden snail).

I also have started handling critters -- well sort of.

What I do is wear garden gloves when we work outside. When Lily finds something interesting -- a small toad, a wriggling worm, ants, spiders, inchworms -- she joyfully picks them up and often wants me to do the same.

Without my gloves on I am (still) pretty freaked out to touch them but with my gloves on it doesn't bother me a bit. And she really doesn't seem to notice that I'm wearing gloves because their just kind of part of my gardening/yard work gear!

We also visit the aquarium often and enjoy some of the less splashy (literally) exhibits like the bat cave and snake and lizard habitats. Observing the critters through glass feels very comfortable for me -- and is actually a lot of fun!

A few weeks ago, I decided it would be fun to get a tank and create a little habitat in our house like the one at Lily's preschool (pictured below).



Through the wonders of technology, I posted a request on Freecycle and within a couple of days, we had our tank! It's been sitting empty for a few weeks, waiting for its first inhabitants.

Then yesterday, while out working in the garden, John and Lily happened upon a garden snail (which a few years ago would have evoked a loud "EWWWWWW" from me), but after hearing about the snails at school for months now, I was thrilled to welcome our first critter.

This afternoon Lily and I spent some time making the tank a little cozier for our guest by adding soil, rocks, sticks, leaves, rocks, moss and a shell. Lily told me that at school they feed the snails carrot peels, so that is what ours received as its first meal. I learned, yesterday, while visiting her school for her birthday celebration, that it is also necessary to spray the tank with water every couple of days.

Here's Lily (nails freshly painted for the baby shower luncheon we attended today) checking out the snail.



Apparently she was right! The snail moved (surprisingly quickly) to the carrot shreds, which, according to the book I read last night, it will use its rough tongue to lick nutrients off of.



And here is our new critter tank. Like everyone else in our cozy, little house, our snail friend will live in our "living" room!



Thank you Rosemary Wells, Iona Opie, and my sweet Lily for reminding me that both boys and girls -- and grown ups too -- can be made of "frogs and snails and puppy-dogs' tails"!

it's hard to be two...